Fan Boys

Is it just me or have people been noticing a rise in fan boys recently?

People who haven’t previously shown any commitment to a particular Premier League Club, suddenly turn up in their £50 replica shirts with their favourite player’s name on their back, and start mouthing off about how they’ve always been a childhood fan.

In my youth the title of biggest fan boys went to Manchester United.

Not surprisingly due to their dominance of English football, but it always used to wind me up when kids who couldn’t name you ONE non-United football player, would mock me about how my team did on the weekend.

Now I’m a product of the old school.

Dad, Uncles, Granddads, everyone in my family supported football so when I was growing up it was everywhere.

And, to be fair to them, they never tried to force me into following their teams. (Probably should have though ‘cos Dads a Chelsea fan. Missed a trick there.)

And when you’re a kid everyone chooses their team for different reasons, whether you’re following your Dad or your Best mate, whether you like a certain player or, like me, whether you liked the kit. (I know, bit unorthodox.)

At that age you know nothing of football but you may have your favourite player, and you get bought the kit for Christmas and you wear it around the house as proud as punch.

Then when you get a bit older you do suddenly begin to enjoy football and you follow your elected team through thick or thin.

That’s how it should be.

NOT waiting to see which team is the best, jumping on the bandwagon and then claiming you’re a real fan.

I first noticed this at about 15 when I was playing for a team with a kid who suddenly turned up, literally overnight, fully clad in a Chelsea kit.

Is it a coincidence that the team now had lots of money, fantastic players, arguably the best manager in the world AND had won the title the year before? I don’t think so.

So now you’re probably waiting for me to say that I walked into my Southampton local yesterday and saw wall to wall Man City fans.

That would make a lot of sense. Great players with massive price tags, lots of money and a free spending manager.

But no.

I think that because City are so heavily criticised for trying to “buy success” that aspiring fan boys have been put off supporting them.

Plus the constant controversies surrounding Tevez, Balotelli and off the field bust-ups won’t help.

So which team are all the little fan boys heading to now?

Well in my experience the winner is... Spurs.

With the recent form of Van der Vaart and Gareth Bale giving every Spurs fan a giant erection which they feel the need to tell us about on a daily basis, plus Harry Redknapp’s seeming need to buy every midfield player in the premiership; Spurs are starting to look like a fan boy’s wet dream.

They’re in the Champion’s League, the buy lots of players and Gareth Bale is the greatest footballer to ever grace the world.

Also because they’re a London club we can get the excuse that:

“I always go and watch Spurs, well I mean I always go to London, well Kent, and when I say “always” I mean occasionally because my Auntie lives there, well she did but she moved, to Manchester, but I’ve ALWAYS supported Spurs.

And I’m sure that now I’m going to get a barrage of comments saying I’m just jealous ETC but that’s not the point.

I’ve got no problem with Spurs fans, I’ve got no problem with teams buying players and I’ve got no problem if you’re a United/Chelsea/Arsenal/City fan if you have been for more than 10 minutes.

My problem is if you chose to follow a team just because they are doing well and then start making wild claims that Van der Vaart is the best player in the world and that Gareth Bale invented penicillin, then we have a problem.

You’re not fans, your fan boys.

And fan boys have no place in football.